Masks, Sandals, and Other Dangerous Objects
by ChildeSande
Summary: Snapshots revolving around Hirako. He is never alone. Sometimes he is surrounded by friends. Sometimes he is abused by Hiyori. Sometimes he is kept company by the sneering voice grating through his mind.
1. Conversation over Questionable Magazines

Shinji was arguing with Hiyori-The-Nutjob after she had given him a nosebleed with one sandal, and called him 'Baldy' for the third time in ten minutes. Watching them squabble like Yuzu and Karin but with fatal intent, I wondered for the 100th time how those two became the leaders of this little group.

"Keep it down will you, you're ruining my book!" Risa yelled from off to one side. She sighed in frustration and closed her book with a snap as Hiyori bellowed obscenities back at her. Risa got up and stormed off, or so I thought. Apparently I was spaced out because she felt it necessary to wave a hand in front of my face. "Yo."

I swatted her hand away in irritation. "What?"

"If you keep frowning like that you'll get wrinkles early," She told me without the slightest hint of humor in her voice.

"Says the woman who's already halfway to being a perverted old man."

"I am not perverted!" Risa exclaimed defensively.

"Whatever." Hirako was now holding Hiyori by the back of her jacket as she lashed out at him. "What weird pair."

"Yeah. Sometimes I honestly wonder if Shinji got dropped on his head when he was still living in the Rukongai." She looked over at me with sharp eyes behind her glasses. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just that… I was wondering why Hirako was the one to recruit me."

"You mean you were wondering why he's our unofficial leader?" I nodded reluctantly. "We were all leaders in the Seireitei; Captains and Lieutenants. If I asked you who looked like the leader, who would you have guessed?"

"I don't know. Kensei maybe. Or that Love guy."

"Yeah. They were great Captains. Shinji… he was something else. Don't get me wrong, he was strong and level-headed and smarter than you'd believe. But he wasn't feared like Kenpachi or loved like Ukitake. But what happened changed us. All of us. Maybe him most of all. He's crazy, yes, but crazy was exactly what was necessary at that point."

"I'm not sure I understand." 

"Shinji is a son of a bitch at the best of times. He says a lot of shit that people want to belt him for. He leads like he does everything else, without backing down, no matter what. He was the only one who could _make_ us shut up and listen. He was the only one who would say the things that needed to be said, no matter how much they hurt. He still does. Shinji may act like a complete moron who lets a girl push him around, but there is steel in him. That's why we follow him."

She stood and picked up her porno mag. She had given me a lot to think about. Just as she was about to leave, she turned to add one last thing. "And because the rest of us are too lazy to do it!"


	2. An Unpleasant Man

"You could die," Urahara Kisuke said quietly. Despite the warning, he didn't look too apologetic. Instead his green-gray eyes glinted with a dangerous edge. "Or worse."

I didn't have to ask what the 'worse' was. I knew. I could feel _it_, corroding the soul, the taint of blood and twisted shadows swirling just beneath the surface. If it gained control… "You could die too, y'know."

"Oh, I know." Kisuke sounded serious, but his eyes still glinted with anticipation.

"You're a pretty unpleasant person, Kisuke," I told him, eyes narrowing.

The ex-Captain smiled, sadly it seemed. "You're not the first person to say so, Hirako-san."

I scowled. "Shinji. We've been ta' Hell an' back, you can at least use my first name."

"Alright, Shinji. Will you risk Hell again?"

"You really think it'll work?"

"I can't give you any guarantees. It's possible theoretically but, well… it all depends on you. Once it starts, I won't be able to help."

"Shit."

"We can wait-"

"No!" I interrupted him. This couldn't wait. The madness was killing us. Slowly. Eating away at our reiatsu, our identities, everything. I stole a glance at Hiyori, slumped at a makeshift table, head resting on her arms. It's been over two weeks since she hit me with one of those damn sandals. Two weeks of heavy, brooding silence. I just wanted her to smile again. Hell, I'd even be happy to see her tryin' ta kick my teeth in. If there was any way I could restore a _little bit_ of what we once were, then I'd risk everything. Kisuke knew that. He knew how fucking responsible I felt for this mess. And even though he kept telling me it wasn't my fault, he wasn't above using my sense of guilt. He _knew_ that some small part of me longed for annihilation.

"I wanna do this." I said. My voice didn't shake.

"Very well," Kisuke looked concerned. Finally. "Tessai-san has set up a barrier for us. It should keep you from damaging the area."

"And if it don't hold?"

"Then," he said, looking me in the eye with grim determination, "I will have to step in. I will make sure you don't hurt anyone." He was calm and completely sincere as he discussed killing me. For that, I was grateful.

"Sure thing," I pasted a grin on my face, the only mask that I didn't fear. "Don't tell the others, will ya? Don't wanna worry them over stupid stuff…"

"If that's what you want. But… they'll feel it. The change in your reiatsu. I'd rather not get ambushed by Hiyori while trying to concentrate on you."

I looked over at her Hiyori. She looked pretty docile right now but… "Fuck!" I was so dead. One way or another she'd kill me. She'd kill me now for doing something like this, or she'd kill me later for not telling her about it.

Abruptly, Kisuke switched into clueless mode, grim excitement melting away so completely it was like I'd imagined it. I repressed a shiver. "Aha, haha… good luck…" Kisuke laughed apologetically, following the direction of my gaze.

Maybe she sensed our eyes, but she lifted her head and looked over at us, eyes narrowed in perpetual brat-mode. "What? Stop staring at me, baldy-head Shinji. Moron-taichou."

"I need to talk to all a'yall," I called to the others.

At once I heard them moving. Rose stood gracefully and left his corner with a long-suffering sigh. Mashiro was forcing an angry Kensei to give her a piggy-back ride in, with squeals of "faster, faster!" Risa appeared suddenly, still holding a magazine of… questionable nature. Love was lecturing Mashiro for testing Kensei's patience when it was now so important that we all keep our tempers under control, and Hachigen looked tired and apologetic at the amount of space he was taking up. On the surface, it seemed normal, but I could sense the undercurrent of despair threatening to pull us all under. I had to do something.

"Urahara has some good news," I told them, grinning and nodding at the Shinigami. He looked positively alarmed, assuming that I'd be the one to break the news. Take that, bastard. Serves him right for laughing at Hiyori's wrath.

He straightened up. "There is a possibility that we can force your hollows into submission. Suppress them, if you will."

"What about getting rid of them?" Kensei growled. He was always close to the edge now, probably a product of the constant whispering of his hollow.

"I am still searching for a solution. So far, however, it does not seem possible." Kisuke faced Kensei without hesitancy. Impressive considering how intimidating he could be. He had guts, I had to give him that much.

"Oh. Ok, well what does 'suppression' mean?" Mashiro piped up.

"It means that you go into your inner soul, as though to speak to your Zanpakuto. I assume none of you have tried to go there since that night?"

There was a chorus of mumbled ''no's and head shakes. I didn't blame them. I remembered the black and amber eyes of my alter ego, snarls ripping from his chest as he took over, and I shuddered involuntarily. This was gonna suck. Hard.

"So then what?" Love asks skeptically.

"The hollow part of your spirit resides there. So you go in and, with the help of your Zanpakuto's spirit, fight it. If you can win, then logically you should be able to force it under your control. You've been having to push it down almost constantly since your change. It keeps rising up. Going down into yourself should allow you to subdue it at its source and prevent it from rising to the surface. Theoretically."

"Theoretically! That's a big chance to take on theory!" Love's bushy eyebrows are drawn together as he considers it.

"Which is why I ain't gonna ask any of ya to do it without some proof. I'm gonna do it."

There was a stunned silence, at my declaration. I could see the question behind each expression. What if? The uneasy tension was broken by a screech of rage. Hiyori came flying out of nowhere, sandal clutched in one hand. I was prepared for that though and sidestepped easily, grabbing the offending article before it smashed my face flat. Ha! What I didn't see coming was a kick to the groin that dropped me into a heap on the floor. The blonde, pigtailed nightmare took the opportunity to yank my hair (fuck, that hurts!) and hit me over the head with her other sandal.

"You fucking moron! Retard! Dickwad! How can you even think like that! That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard!"

She kicked me again for good measure and my side exploded with pain. The little asswipe was stronger when she was angry. Which was pretty much all the time.

She rounded on Kisuke. "And YOU! How dare you try to do this to us! I can't believe I trusted you!"

"Hiyori!" I said sharply. I was on my feet again. Now was not the time for her tantrums. "Kisuke has been nothin' but helpful. Without him and Shihoin-san we'd still be in Soul Society, hunted by our former comrades." The situation was a sobering one. We forgot that however bad things were, they could have been worse. Much worse. I looked around. Each one of them had shock still reflected on their faces. Risa looked as though she was about to shut down. Out of all of us, she'd been closest to her Captain. "We all had friends back there. And lives. And pride as Shinigami. But that's all over now. We gotta move on. Part of that's recognizing that we may have to live with this." I met Kensei's gaze as I said it. "And part of it is doin' something constructive about it." I looked at Hiyori. "I know it's a risk, but that's life, ain't it? So quit whining, and just try to get on with it."

"Shinji?"

"Yeah, brat?" I looked over my shoulder just in time to receive a sandal to the face.

"Don't call me that, dumbass!" she yelled.

"-The Hell?" I yelled. Hiyori put her sandal back on as if nothing had happened.

"Shut up." She told me darkly. There was something uncomfortable in her eyes. She kept glancing away before she said anything. Without meeting my gaze, she said, "I'm scared."

"Me too."

"What if you…" She couldn't finish.

"It'll be fine. Nothin' can beat me, not even myself. I ain't gonna leave you alone. Dumbass."

She smiled slightly and, her eyes softening. It was for moments like these that I put up with the demon bitch side of her. And then it came back. "Like I care about that! Big-headed baldy. I just don't want to have you tear up Kisuke's shop."

"Yeah, yeah. I thought you said the candy shop was a stupid idea anyway?"

Her reply was a flying kick to the chest. And somehow, I knew that everything was alright.


End file.
